Question:
Should I give up my hobby of watching movies?
anonymous
2012-02-05 23:07:50 UTC
I especially love watching the Oscar movies. I try to see all of the nominees each year. However, it's been harder to do because my husband isn't into movies like me. We have a small child and I ask him to help so I can go to the movies. He says no and usually will not go with me either. It's hard to watch DVDs at home also. We work so much and it's time consuming, but it's only for a few weeks a year and I minimize time away from family as much as possible (such as watching DVDs after everyone is asleep). I think it's time to give it up, but I makes me so incredibly sad to have to give up something I love to do so much. I'm just tired of having to fight for it. Advice?
Eight answers:
Miz T
2012-02-06 05:00:51 UTC
I'm the movie-goer in the family. Like you, I try to see all the Oscar nominees, at least the ones nominated for the "big" awards. My late husband liked action movies and some comedies, and he was adamant that most of the Oscar nominees were unappealing to him. I prefer the theater experience; he preferred DVDs so he could rewind and watch certain scenes over and over. Clearly, our preferred film experiences were incompatible.



Rather than fight about it, though, we worked out compromises over the years. When we had kids at home, he would do something with the kids while I went to a matinee (sometimes alone, sometimes with friends). When child care wasn't an issue, I did the movie-going while he pursued one of his hobbies, usually going on a motorcycle ride with other bikers (I never liked riding). Sometimes we went to the theater together and saw different films. And sometimes we actually went together and enjoyed the same movie: "Mystic River" is one I recall that appealed to both of us, and we both loved "kid" movies like "Up," to which we took the whole family.



My answer to your question is, "No, don't give up your movie hobby." In fact, if you were to give it up, you would probably resent having "had" to do so in order to "keep peace." Go, enjoy yourself, and recognize that you and your husband are two individuals with different likes and dislikes--you're not joined at the hip and unable to spend time apart. My husband died 16 months ago, and while I miss him every single day, I have no regrets whatsoever that we had separate likes and dislikes and that we made room in our lives for our separate interests as well as for our time together.



As Kalil Ghibran said, “Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.”
?
2016-03-03 02:39:57 UTC
I think it is kind of a hobby because technically a hobby is "something done regularly in ones leisure time for pleasure." If your boyfriend likes watching movies, and watches them regularly, then I guess it is TECHNICALLY a hobby. I don't think it is much of a hobby, though. This is because when I think of a hobby, I think more of a sport or activity of some sort.
anonymous
2012-02-05 23:18:40 UTC
Give up if your getting tired of watcching movies, its your deccision if you want to or not, if you enjoy it but are getting bored of them stop a little but if you still enjoy watching them then dont give up, its your deccision. You and your husband should make a comprimise and should have say: 1 night a week when he watched the child and you go out, or your could go to see a kids film with your child, then you coild be doing what you love and bonding.
Craig
2012-02-05 23:10:58 UTC
It's ok to have different interest than your husband. If the both of you were exactly alike, things would be boring. Maybe a good compromise would be to find one of your friends that enjoys movies as much as you do and have a movie night with them
anonymous
2012-02-06 00:16:30 UTC
see if you can get a babysitter you do deserve to go out to keep up your interests otherwise we become cabbaged by small talk. Show him this thread - You will end up resentful and stir crazy and not caring what you cook for him and fall out of love if he is so intractable. Will your mum babysit? - go on be a bit more independent and assert your rights you dont need his permission youre a grown woman and mother of his child and he should be cherishing you.
miray2009
2012-02-05 23:17:57 UTC
If its makes you happyby watching movies and you think it helps you to de stress because of so many works in a day so go on, it is you who can control of yourself, if that is your routine before so why giving up to the hubby you love to do before? as long as you have time for your kids and husband and household chores.why not sayinhg your husband to have a date with him just you and him by watching movies? just you and your hubby? maybe he wants you to treat him and after that you eat out and have dinner? its sounds romantic I guess.
Ben
2012-02-05 23:08:59 UTC
no! never give up, movies are one of the best things ever!
anonymous
2012-02-05 23:15:56 UTC
omg , don't ever give up on movies !!! just watch it when they arenot around or are busy with sthgelse


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